On 50 and choosing
I turned 50. Not 50 laps in a row, not 50 pages at a time (though I am reading a good book)—50 years of age. WOW.
And you know what? I feel pretty dang good. There are many reasons why I wouldn't, and probably quite a few why I shouldn't. But I do. And part of that is because I choose to do so.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
So if I choose to complain, I spend my life complaining. If I choose to worry, I spend my life worrying. If I choose to be depressed, I spend my life depressed.
But—if I choose to be joyful, I spend my life finding joyous moments. If I choose to be optimistic, I spend my life finding ways to see the bright side. If I choose to be...you get the picture.
This mindset is a choice. It's not an easy one. For me, it took years to cultivate. Some of us have to work at it more than others. Our brains are wired for the worst-case scenario—that saber-toothed tiger that might eat us. Choosing the bright side means working against that wiring. It's not natural. It's a practice.
My mother shared with me how "happy" I was at birth and in life—seemingly just enjoying this strange, wonderful human existence I was given. And...life has been hard. Many of you know, but I've lost four jobs in the last six years. It has not been easy. And many would not feel good because of it. Do I love being in this situation? Of course not. Are days hard? Absolutely. Are there times when I have to pick myself up emotionally just to get out of bed physically? 100%.
And—I feel pretty dang good.
So here's what I'm choosing.
I've decided to do 50 days in a row of 50 minutes of running and walking, alternating between a run/walk combo one day and a walk-only day the next. Four days in. I'm loving it.
I have 50 weeks until I travel back to Turkey, where I was born, where I haven't been since my family left.
And in between, I'm going to do the 50 things I've never done in this city I've lived in for 20+ years—starting with the House of the Temple or finding the best place to watch the sunrise.
I'm choosing to be joyful, to be optimistic...and to accept that I won't be perfect in this challenge.
This is where I need all of you. To help hold me accountable. That can come in so many ways— checking in overtly, checking in discreetly, choosing to be joyful and optimistic for me when needed.
This is how I'm spending my days. This is how I'm spending my life.
I hope yours feels just as much your own.