What are yours?
If any of the themes below resonate with you, I’d love to hear from you.
with love ✨, CATHERINE
Observations on moving, breathing and being. These are mine.
I’ve been writing them down since 2020.
I took a long pause. I’m back now.
On rejection
The job search is hard. For anyone in it, you know it’s not for the faint of heart. It toys with our emotions. Some weeks are high, some weeks are low. Last week? A low for me. I had two opportunities out there that were good in and of themselves. As someone underemployed yet again, I had built them up to be great—end all, be all great.
And then rejection came.
A reflection on thanks
I’ve been re-watching Apple TV+’s Ted Lasso the last few weeks, which if you haven’t seen yet, watch now and thank me later. (And if you end up doing neither, we must talk…)
I would describe the show as both positive and cheerful while also sad and grounded—and overall, inspirationally kind and vulnerable.
While there are many incredible lines to quote for those of you whom that is a thing—including multiple references throughout as to why we should strive to be a goldfish—there’s a pair of lines that really resonates with me as we reflect and give thanks this Thanksgiving.
Late in the season, Ted, played by Jason Sudeikis, learns of a very personal and professional betrayal and has the option of how to respond. Many of us, if presented with our equivalent of this situation, would likely react first, reflect later.
Ted chose differently. He paused, allowing for space between the stimulus (the news) and his response. He invited in his breathe to slow down his sympathetic “fight or flight” nervous system. He related to the injurious individual, finding common ground and connection with this obviously injured person herself. Ultimately, he humanized his response, forgiving her and finding the silver lining from this otherwise hurtful situation.
…(it’s) changed my life. It gave me the distance I needed to see what was really going on…you and me? We’re okay…
~Ted Lasso (Ted Lasso, season 1, episode 9)
The connection, Catherine…please…
A reflection on sadness
I’m sad.
I’m not sure I can hide that I’m sad, and I’m not sure that I should. As Brene Brown says, “when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive ones”. I’m not willing to numb joy or happiness or pleasure anymore. I did this for far too many years as a result of walls I constructed around myself in order to protect me from, well, anything and everything—failure, fear, abandonment, rejection, loss, etc. I refuse to make this sacrifice anymore. So this then begs the question—what do I do with this sadness?
I embrace it.
While I don’t want sadness to become my norm, to be my home, I do want to invite it in…
A reflection on wilting
I came home from Vermont late Saturday night to find the flowers in my flower box underneath my front window severely wilted. At first, I cried foul—poison! Someone poisoned my flowers! Now, I wonder if they weren’t a sacrificial death—perhaps a symbol of the year up ‘til now, a foreshadow of what was still to come, a snapshot of my current state so I might investigate further the need for better healing options.
Flowers need nuanced care in order to thrive. Their caregiver must properly tend to their needs, appreciating how much sun is appropriate, how much water is required. The caretaker must observe the flowers with compassion, intellect and patience. They must be willing to remove any weeds that otherwise might stop the flowers’ growth, or to transplant them if they’ve outgrown their containers. The caretaker must provide enough nourishment for strong roots to develop and for the flowers to weather any storm.
We, too, need nuanced care in order to thrive…
A reflection on the inner child
Compassion (def.) – sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress, together with a desire to alleviate it
Self-Compassion – directing this compassion towards one’s self
Yoga philosophy* teaches us that our true nature can become imbalanced due to physical, mental and emotional conditions. These may manifest as tightness in our bodies and breath or as feelings of restlessness, worry, helplessness and the like. We can work to reduce or prevent these imbalances through practice—moving, breathing, sitting—learning to nurture attitudes of friendliness, compassion, pleasure and non-judgement. These healing virtues, or “yogic vitamins”, have as much to do with our relationship with ourselves as they do with our relationships with others.
I have struggled over the years with accepting compassion, in particular, as a two-way exchange…
A reflection on overwhelm
Most people who know me would likely describe me as a highly motivated person. I would tend to agree. I have a lot of drive that, when channelled appropriately, can propel me into action, and, when not, can stop me in my tracks.
At times, it can seemingly do both…
A reflection on “The Work”
I’m tired. I think we’re all tired. Today being the midway point of the year (yes, it is the end of June!) gives us a time to pause, to tune into our current state, to reflect on the connection between our body, breath and mind. Are they connected, and if so, how? Is it through awareness? Intelligence? Compassion? Or is it via our emotions, which often lead us astray from the truth?
