What are yours?
If any of the themes below resonate with you, I’d love to hear from you.
with love ✨, CATHERINE
Observations on moving, breathing and being. These are mine.
I’ve been writing them down since 2020.
I took a long pause. I’m back now.
On the loop
Phil Connors—Bill Murray in the 1993 film Groundhog Day—was trapped reliving the same day for something like 12,400 of them, by one popular estimate. By my count, I'm only 222 days into this latest stretch of unemployment. But the monotony of the last few months is real.
And, like the movie, there are lessons in it.
On being late
This was supposed to reach you Monday.
Most weeks it goes like this—I wake up, go for my morning walk, take care of my pets. Eventually, I make my coffee and sit down, two hours later, start-to-finish, hitting publish and send on this blog and newsletter. That's the rhythm. I didn't question it. Why would I? It's what I do. It's what works.
Until it doesn't.
On the unremarkable
I sat down this morning to write. (Yes, currently I write day-of. Perhaps that will change. For now…)
My mind was blank. Nothing stood out. No big insight, no big breakthrough, seemingly no big anything.
I thought to myself, “I have nothing to share”.
On perfectionism
I’ve struggled over the years with playfulness. I believe we are all innately playful, yet somehow I’ve allowed that natural tendency to be suppressed, year after year, due to my greater struggle—perfectionism.
I used to think perfectionism was a badge of honour. Oh, how I was wrong! Rather, it’s been one of my greatest sources of weakness over the years.
On self-love affirmations
If we pause to tune inwards to our inner monologue, as happens when we sit on our cushion to meditate, we might begin to become aware of a lot of non-affirming self-talk and other negative chatter that appears to be on a seemingly continuous loop in our mind.
Try it. Sit or stand up straight. Close your eyes if comfortable. Take a few conscious breaths—become aware of your inhale and exhale.
Now become aware of your mind and its endless thoughts. What is it saying right now? Is it using positive or negative language? Is it using affirming or defeating language?
Spend a few more moments here. Okay. Now open your eyes.
How was that?
On knowing oneself
How many of you did the journaling exercise offered last week? It’s fair if you didn’t. It helped us begin to contemplate self-love and what it means, why it’s important and how it’s a challenge for most (if not all) of us.
In case you’re wondering, the questions and prompt are hard! It’s not a surprise if you haven’t done it…yet. It can be challenging to tune inwards and to see, hear and support ourselves.
So let’s practice. Let’s change the context.
Imagine now that you’re sitting with your son, or your niece, or your godchild, and you’re doing this exercise with this young, innocent soul. Would your tone be different? Would you speak more slowly and kindly? Would you offer more space, more pause? Would you accept the answers without preference? Would you allow the feelings without judgement? Would you hold this little person and their experiences with greater acceptance and compassion?
I’m going to guess yes, as I know I sure did when I imagined one of my nieces and nephews and practiced.
How might we start to extend that same acceptance and compassion to ourselves?
We can start by getting curious and learning about ourselves more…
On the journey of self-love
February—the shortest month of the year, even on its longest days. It’s home to American Heart Month* and everyone’s favourite, Valentine’s Day. So it’s as good a month as any to start talking about self-love!
We’ll explore this topic in more detail throughout the month, starting with…
What exactly is meant by self-love?
Merriam-Webster defines it as:
: love of self: such that
An appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue
Proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or well-being
Inflated love of or pride in oneself
Okay…we might not want to nurture that last part, but the first two bullets sound like obvious and noble goals!
Why does self-love matter?
A reflection on sadness
I’m sad.
I’m not sure I can hide that I’m sad, and I’m not sure that I should. As Brene Brown says, “when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive ones”. I’m not willing to numb joy or happiness or pleasure anymore. I did this for far too many years as a result of walls I constructed around myself in order to protect me from, well, anything and everything—failure, fear, abandonment, rejection, loss, etc. I refuse to make this sacrifice anymore. So this then begs the question—what do I do with this sadness?
I embrace it.
While I don’t want sadness to become my norm, to be my home, I do want to invite it in…
